The intro does a good job of hitting the highlights, but let us dive a bit
deeper into the mystery that is Jem.
Jem ran
from 1985-1988, and was wildly popular, at least with Pippy and me. The
story centers around Jem, a fabulous rock 'n roll diva with pink
hair and a kind heart. What you quickly learn, is that Jem is
actually Jerrica Benton (no relation), a mild mannered record executive and
owner of "Starlight Music." Jerrica is blonde, that's how you
know the difference.
The way
Jerrica turns into Jem is through the help of a giant hologram-making machine
named Synergy. Jerrica's genius father (who is dead) made Synergy for Jem
and her sister, Kimber, but really only Jerrica gets to use her.
All
Jerrica has to do is press her hot pink star earrings and say "It's showtime
Synergy!" and she turns into Jem. She now has pink hair and is the
lead singer of the Holograms. (Kimber is part of the Holograms too, but is
constantly pissed that Jem gets all the attention. Which is a fair
complaint.)
Jerrica
also fosters 12 kids, known collectively as The Starlight Kids. We don't
really know why she does this, but we assume it is because she is the greatest person on earth.
The best part about the Starlight Kids is that instead of drawing
children, the animators just drew shorter adults, which is perfect.
Every
episode Jem's efforts at good doing and awesome singing are tested by another,
rival, band (you'll remember them from the intro), The Misfits. They are
the arch nemesi of The Holograms, and you know they are bad because they have
much worse make-up. They claim their songs are better, but we know the
truth.
Okay, so
you're with me so far, right? Everything makes perfect 80's sense.
You've got two rival bands, a lead singer whose persona is really a
hologram, foster children. No biggie.
Enter Rio
Pacheco. Rio is Jerrica's boyfriend, and he has purplish hair. The
thing is, Rio is dating Jerrica AND Jem, and he doesn't know they are the same
person!
He's
always hitting on Jem and making out with her, and then he'll go over to
Starlight Records and make out with Jerrica. This obviously makes him a
scumbag, but here's the deal, Jerrica/Jem knows she is the same
person, so she is basically condoning her boyfriend cheating on her...with
herself.
Why does
she allow this? Jem/Jerrica- you are an international pop icon/record
producer! You deserve better!
Every
episode she tries to tell Rio that Jem and Jerrica are one and the same (Lord
knows how that would go over), but something always happens. Like one of
the Misfits pushes a gargoyle from the top of a church onto their heads (they
get away) or there's an avalanche (they get away) or a flash flood (they get
away). So, frustratingly, the secret is never revealed.
Then there's a final song by Jem, and the theme of the episode (usually something about saving poor people or the planet) is driven home. Then Jerrica just goes on about her life knowing that Rio is a cheating doucher. Why? Why?
Sigh. That is the mystery of Jem. I'll tell you what though, it doesn't matter. Jem is pretty much the best thing that ever happened to Saturday morning. They just don't make 'em like that anymore. The closest thing to hit the airwaves was Hannah Montana, and that was a poor excuse for confusing plot lines for children.
Jem was truly outrageous. Truly, truly, truly it was.
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