A project that requires a vast amount of research (did you know it's actually okay to eat sushi when pregnant, but not garden?) and study (when babies are born, they eat every two to three hours- around the clock).
But whatever, the research is kind of fun, and really, you just have to make a decision. It's controllable. I get to pick, um I mean Brad and I jointly get to pick, which stroller we get, our pediatrician, our birth plan, yadda yadda. So, when it was time to decide on childcare, I approached it with the same level of study. I'd pick a school, sign up, and that would be it.
Nope. That is not how it works, and if you have kids you're laughing right now. If you don't have kids, here's what you need to know, and it's the God's honest truth: Daycare is the new college.
For some color, I grew up in a very small town of 7,000 people. There were, as far as I know, two or three daycare options. I attended the prestigious Kinderhaus (it was a very German community). I assume that when my mom was ready to send me to the Haus, she called up Mrs. Nester, the proprietor, and said something like "We'll be bringing Stella by on Monday. Please charge us the $35 a week that is your rate. Thank you." And that was it.
I assume this because when I told my mom I was looking at pre-schools (no longer called daycares) for when our baby is ONE YEAR OLD (we're also trying to find someone to come to the house for the first year, which is a whole other issue), my mother said "Oh honey, don't stress about that. When the baby's big enough you'll just find a place."
No. It does not work like that anymore, at least not in a city, which is where we live. In a city, in 2014, you have to go through a process.
What this process entails, at the minimum, is a school visit, during which "you" interview the school, but really the school interviews you. If you pass this, then you are put on a waiting list to get in. How long is the waiting list? When will you know if you got in? Depends on the school, but most of the time the answer is never or close to never or when the child is 14.
There is one place that helpfully and optimistically says on their website "Just put your name down- who knows, anything can happen!" For another one, I can't get on the waiting list because I have to tour the school first. I can't tour the school yet because there is a wait list...for the tour. That's right, double wait list. F!
The worst that I've heard though, isn't my story, but happened/is happening to one of my dear friends in another large city. In this city THE pre-school is called Mickey's Mouse House. How Disney has not found them and sued for copyright infringement I do not know.
Anyway, Mickey's, as it is called, is so exclusive, so special, so amazing, that is is a secret. They have no website, there is no listed phone number. The only way you know about Mickey's is if you are a legacy Mouse or if a current Mouse family informs you about it and deems you worthy enough to give you their phone number.
Mickey's Mouse House was founded in the 60s by a lady named Miss Natalie who is now about 85 years old. The reason they are so exclusive is because if your child goes to Mickey's, they are guaranteed to get into the feeder elementary, for the feeder middle school that feeds into the best private high school in the city, which has something like a 99% Ivy League college acceptance rate.
No. It does not work like that anymore, at least not in a city, which is where we live. In a city, in 2014, you have to go through a process.
What this process entails, at the minimum, is a school visit, during which "you" interview the school, but really the school interviews you. If you pass this, then you are put on a waiting list to get in. How long is the waiting list? When will you know if you got in? Depends on the school, but most of the time the answer is never or close to never or when the child is 14.
There is one place that helpfully and optimistically says on their website "Just put your name down- who knows, anything can happen!" For another one, I can't get on the waiting list because I have to tour the school first. I can't tour the school yet because there is a wait list...for the tour. That's right, double wait list. F!
The worst that I've heard though, isn't my story, but happened/is happening to one of my dear friends in another large city. In this city THE pre-school is called Mickey's Mouse House. How Disney has not found them and sued for copyright infringement I do not know.
Anyway, Mickey's, as it is called, is so exclusive, so special, so amazing, that is is a secret. They have no website, there is no listed phone number. The only way you know about Mickey's is if you are a legacy Mouse or if a current Mouse family informs you about it and deems you worthy enough to give you their phone number.
Mickey's Mouse House was founded in the 60s by a lady named Miss Natalie who is now about 85 years old. The reason they are so exclusive is because if your child goes to Mickey's, they are guaranteed to get into the feeder elementary, for the feeder middle school that feeds into the best private high school in the city, which has something like a 99% Ivy League college acceptance rate.
So basically, if you don't get into Mickey's you might as well kiss your Yale aspirations goodbye and also your child will most likely be a homeless criminal- or so everyone is told by everyone else who is trying to get into Mickey's.
Anyway, once you are given the super secret number, you have to call Miss Natalie from the hospital, preferably the day the baby is born, to let her know that yes, you would like to join the Mouse Club. My friend did this when their baby was born on a Sunday, and was curtly told by Miss Natalie that even educators need a day off with their families and could she please call back Monday. They still don't know if this has hurt their chances.
Once the call is made, about a week later, the baby will receive a handwritten note from Miss Natalie on Mickey stationary that says something like:
"Dear Miss Kimberly Brown,
Thank you so much for your interest in Mickey's Mouse House. We so look forward to meeting you in two and a half year's time. Please have your parents hold on to this letter as proof of your interest, and six months prior to your third birthday, have them contact us by phone again. At that point, we will assess our availability to accept new pupils.
Sincerely,
Miss Natalie"
Apparently, there are safety deposit boxes all over the city with these letters.
My friend has applied to other schools just in case as they are most certainly not getting in. There are people who are now third generation Mice who might not get in. Nonetheless, they want to have options, and they want to make sure there isn't anything they didn't do- just in case.
Anyway, once you are given the super secret number, you have to call Miss Natalie from the hospital, preferably the day the baby is born, to let her know that yes, you would like to join the Mouse Club. My friend did this when their baby was born on a Sunday, and was curtly told by Miss Natalie that even educators need a day off with their families and could she please call back Monday. They still don't know if this has hurt their chances.
Once the call is made, about a week later, the baby will receive a handwritten note from Miss Natalie on Mickey stationary that says something like:
"Dear Miss Kimberly Brown,
Thank you so much for your interest in Mickey's Mouse House. We so look forward to meeting you in two and a half year's time. Please have your parents hold on to this letter as proof of your interest, and six months prior to your third birthday, have them contact us by phone again. At that point, we will assess our availability to accept new pupils.
Sincerely,
Miss Natalie"
Apparently, there are safety deposit boxes all over the city with these letters.
My friend has applied to other schools just in case as they are most certainly not getting in. There are people who are now third generation Mice who might not get in. Nonetheless, they want to have options, and they want to make sure there isn't anything they didn't do- just in case.
And who doesn't want to make sure they do everything in their power to give their kid the best chance at life? Even if that means a having safety deposit box with a letter written in old lady handwriting.
So, at least we don't have to do that. I do fear that this is the beginning of something that Brad and I (both from small towns) are ill-equipped to face. We don't have legacies of family members in these schools, we don't come from money, and I don't even know that we want our children in this world of competitive private schools. We want a diverse group of students and families to interact with our kids. We want them to know that not everyone is the same and that's okay. At the same time, like my friend, I don't want them to miss out on opportunities because we weren't on the right list at the right time.
In the end, I think we'll apply to a few places that seem like our kid would have fun there, and that are willing to take us. Which, I guess is also a good first lesson in being a parent. Don't freak out. You do the best you can, with the information and resources you have, and you hope for the best. And then you wait. Who knows- anything can happen!
So, at least we don't have to do that. I do fear that this is the beginning of something that Brad and I (both from small towns) are ill-equipped to face. We don't have legacies of family members in these schools, we don't come from money, and I don't even know that we want our children in this world of competitive private schools. We want a diverse group of students and families to interact with our kids. We want them to know that not everyone is the same and that's okay. At the same time, like my friend, I don't want them to miss out on opportunities because we weren't on the right list at the right time.
In the end, I think we'll apply to a few places that seem like our kid would have fun there, and that are willing to take us. Which, I guess is also a good first lesson in being a parent. Don't freak out. You do the best you can, with the information and resources you have, and you hope for the best. And then you wait. Who knows- anything can happen!
Hoooraaaayyyy!!! This whole having to apply for preschool when all they do is sleep and eat and look cute is a bit mind blowing to a non-mama like me...but I'm guessing we'll get there soon enough. Fingers crossed you don't make the wrong choice and doom your child to going to ACC based on her years of learning where her belly button is!
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